7.14.2006

Nothing is free

A and I have been blessed with a number of “free” tickets to area events since we began our respective professional stints. Through ad reps, co-workers and bosses, we’ve had the chance to go to a variety of games, benefits, shows, etc. Always up for free entertainment, we rarely pass up an opportunity.

This week alone, we were offered tickets to the Jamie Farr Opening Bash, the AAA All-Star Game, the Wing Thing and the Jamie Farr Owens Corning Classic. All sounded fun in their own unique way, so we decided to cash in on the offers.

Here’s the thing. Remember that old saying that “nothing in life is free?” Well, upon conclusion of each of these “free” events, A and I are realizing that even freebies will cost you.

For instance, once you get into a AAA All-Star game, odds are you are going to be fairly parched and hungry. Ching ching. (I’m not trying to speak Chinese, I’m trying to illustrate the sound of a cash register.) So, you order your ballpark frank and chilled beverage (it’s amazing how easily beer goes down at the ballpark) around the second or third inning (if you can wait that long). You’re done with your refreshments by the fourth (or for some, you don’t even make it to your seat before finishing your dog). So, now what? You can’t just sit there for five/six more innings. That’s impossible. Even at $6 a pop, you’ll need another bud light (which may not be your fav, but, for whatever reason, that doesn't seem to matter) and perhaps another form of nourishment. Ching ching.

It’s a damn conspiracy. You see, free tickets only exist so that businesses and organizations can get you in the door to spend your wad of cash.

The best part? Even though we’re incredibly aware of the conspiracy against us, we continue to accept the freebies. There’s just something so rewarding about the thought of sticking it to the man.



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