Once was enough

I lost my virginity this weekend. Not in the sense you’re probably most familiar with. No. I lost that a while ago.

This weekend, I attended a male strip club for the very first time. And, I still feel quite icky.

Don’t get me wrong, the experience was actually more fun (funny) than not. We were there for a good friend’s bachelorette party. It was EXACTLY how I thought it would be.

Here’s my beef, though. I just don’t understand how a dude stripping down to a skimpy, neon banana-hammock is considered at all sexy. For the first 20 minutes, I actually had a cramp from laughing so hard.

For those of you who have yet to experience a male review, here’s how it went. We got there and had about four men in their barely-there skivvies serving us some much-needed spirits. (One was actually in cut-offs that looked more like a short little jean skirt…) About a half-hour later, the show started with a cowboy striptease. (My friend was actually taken up on stage for this one!) Given that the cowboy was probably the only hot guy in the whole place, I rather enjoyed the show at that point – minus the fact that he thought he had to mouth the words of the song while stripping. (So cheesy!)

Anyway, two more guys came out shortly after to do their thang – meanwhile getting progressively more icky. (Seriously, I think the other two girls pulled up on stage could have filed a police report for molestation.)

After the “show” was over, the talent and about five other men just kept dancing around the room, hopping on laps hoping to secure just one more dollar. (Pretty sad.)

I left with many questions. For instance, how do men get away with charging women for such a thing? What do they tell their families they do for a living? How often do they “hook-up” with customers? Are they stuffing those g-strings? Eew.

Bottom line: Nothing beats new experiences, but sometimes once is certainly enough.